Home as Ministry

[TitusTwoWife]

I want Spirit-led homemaking. I want to do things without worry like the lilies of the field. I want moments of laughter and joy.

I want dimples, smiles, and tickle-fests. I want to be the Mom who let's God take her anxiety. I want to thank God for food when I do the dishes and thank Him fir clothes when I fold the laundry.

I want to sing my song of joy to the Lord for the wild beauty of it all.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

I googled Spirit-led homemaking and couldn't find anything directly under it. Ill try to talk about it more.

Spirit-led homemaking is a Kingdom first approach to homemaking where you are open to being nudged about what's important and when directly from the Holy Spirit. It does not make homemaking well an end in itself but sees the daily tasks involved as spiritually advantageous to practice love, joy, and other fruit of the Spirit.

 

[bobinfaith]

Good morning, TitusTwoWife;

Are you a full time homemaker?

Meantime, I have a question. How does the book of Titus and the Holy Spirit prompt you (your online signature) in your daily walk with Christ?

The book of Joshua has always spoken to me, Joshua 24:15, and have kept my name bob in faith because I choose to live my faith in God.

There is a lot to be said about Home as Ministry and I'd like to share more.

I was checking in BTF this morning and came across your thread will get back soon.

God bless you, TitusTwoWife.

Bob

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Good morning, TitusTwoWife;

Are you a full time homemaker?

Meantime, I have a question. How does the book of Titus and the Holy Spirit prompt you (your online signature) in your daily walk with Christ?

The book of Joshua has always spoken to me, Joshua 24:15, and have kept my name bob in faith because I choose to live my faith in God.

There is a lot to be said about Home as Ministry and I'd like to share more.

I was checking in BTF this morning and came across your thread will get back soon.

God bless you, TitusTwoWife.

Bob

I am a full time homemaker. I started for years without children and now have two small children who are one and two years old.

Titus 2:3-5 inspires me because it's a calling for married women to be keepers at home who are obedient to their own husbands, love their husbands, love their children, are chaste etc so the Word of God is not blasphemed.

Titus 2:3-5
King James Version
3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

I love going back to this video. It's a skit about approaching the same problem two ways with one Spirit-led. It's funny too

 

[TitusTwoWife]

We don't have to be ruled by our emotions. The Spirit of Truth is our guide, giving us fearlessness, peace, and self-control.

We can forgo complaining and give thanks at every opportunity. We can forgo worrying and send our prayers up to the Father instead.

We can turn ordinary tasks into heartfelt worship, working as to the Lord.

We can love our husbands physically, mentally, and spiritually. We can be a source of peace and encouragement when we dwell on the good in him. We can smile at them, share our bodies, and respect them.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

 

[TitusTwoWife]

 

[TitusTwoWife]

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Don't fight the sanctifying process of sacrifice in motherhood, chores, and spousal duties. Let it store up treasures in heaven. Let it humble you to cry out to God for strength. Let is crucify your selfish desires.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

When my little ones wake up, they are entirely dependent on me to feed, clothes, change, and bathe them. This is how God must see us. And because mothering is being like God, no wonder it is called a sacred ministry. The true ministry is not out there somewhere, it always starts at home.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

 

[bobinfaith]

Oh! I just remembered and wanted to share. When my sibling brothers were growing up my Dad had us do yard work, change the tire on the car or clean the garage, etc...I actually made it "an art" when I mowed the lawn, edged the grass that meets the sidewalk and keep the garden bed free from weeds. If I maintained this weekly the yard didn't get out of whack.

But when my Mom as the housewife taught us to wash the dishes, clothes, clean the bathroom, vacuum the house and mop the kitchen floor, we hated that part but when we moved out as single young men, it prepared us to take care of our home. It did pay off in the long run.

God bless you, TitusTwoWife.

Bob

 

[Yesua888]

When my little ones wake up, they are entirely dependent on me to feed, clothes, change, and bathe them. This is how God must see us. And because mothering is being like God, no wonder it is called a sacred ministry. The true ministry is not out there somewhere, it always starts at home.

So many of us born again Christians (much later in life born again) have so many regrets about how we were in the world, and how we brought up our children (our Gifts from God).
Had we seen things through the lens of God, we would have fewer regrets.
Looking back, it is clear how much we impact on our children.
Even later in life, many children still listen to their parents, whether they are right or wrong, and are often influenced by them, right or wrong.
A child's formative years are vitally important, and Sista, your children are very lucky to have you at home with them in these early days of their life.
Dad's role is equally important!
Yes, a mother or father figure is the closest thing to God, whilst they are growing up ... hence the IMPORTANCE of our ROLES.

 

[Yesua888]

View attachment 432

It is understanding our ROLES as parents, that counts ...

 

[bobinfaith]

When my little ones wake up, they are entirely dependent on me to feed, clothes, change, and bathe them. This is how God must see us. And because mothering is being like God, no wonder it is called a sacred ministry. The true ministry is not out there somewhere, it always starts at home.

So many of us born again Christians (much later in life born again) have so many regrets about how we were in the world, and how we brought up our children (our Gifts from God).
Had we seen things through the lens of God, we would have fewer regrets.
Looking back, it is clear how much we impact on our children.
Even later in life, many children still listen to their parents, whether they are right or wrong, and are often influenced by them, right or wrong.
A child's formative years are vitally important, and Sista, your children are very lucky to have you at home with them in these early days of their life.
Dad's role is equally important!
Yes, a mother or father figure is the closest thing to God, whilst they are growing up ... hence the IMPORTANCE of our ROLES.

Good morning, TitusTwoWife and Yesua888;

My sister in law is currently a full time housewife and mother. She is up early to tend to her 9 year old daughter before school and her husband before he goes to work in the evening. She tends to other tasks during the day and helps her daughter with homework after school. In the evening she enjoys watching basketball with her husband (my brother in law.)

She is one of the most humble people I have had the pleasure of knowing. I encourage her to read The Daily Bread and this week asked her to read and meditate on Titus 2.

My sister in law and I had discussion about second guessing areas of regret in a Christian's life.

Linda brought up a good point, "So many of us born again Christians (much later in life born again) have so many regrets about how we were in the world, and how we brought up our children (our Gifts from God). Had we seen things through the lens of God, we would have fewer regrets."

Linda, let's say if we saw through the lens of God, we could have fewer regrets in those areas of our lives, but then we would encounter other life setbacks, trials and decisions.

I have a whole list of hard regrets in my life from my teens and other big decisions I've made. Had I chosen the other road may have worked out but I wouldn't have the life I have today, for example, tough times in my marriage, a career I wasn't fulfilled with, where we live (why did we move to SF?!?) and ministry later in life.

Proverbs 15:22, 22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. - NIV
Proverbs 16:3, 3 Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established. - NKJV

James 1:5, 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. - ESV

Despite the setbacks, the Lord may or may not have planned it this way but He got us through all the trials. At the end of the day, I am thankful where I am, but He also knows when I question Him, "what if?"

What are your thoughts?

God bless everyone.

Bob

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Good morning, TitusTwoWife and Yesua888;

My sister in law is currently a full time housewife and mother. She is up early to tend to her 9 year old daughter before school and her husband before he goes to work in the evening. She tends to other tasks during the day and helps her daughter with homework after school. In the evening she enjoys watching basketball with her husband (my brother in law.)

She is one of the most humble people I have had the pleasure of knowing. I encourage her to read The Daily Bread and this week asked her to read and meditate on Titus 2.

My sister in law and I had discussion about second guessing areas of regret in a Christian's life.

Linda brought up a good point, "So many of us born again Christians (much later in life born again) have so many regrets about how we were in the world, and how we brought up our children (our Gifts from God). Had we seen things through the lens of God, we would have fewer regrets."

Linda, let's say if we saw through the lens of God, we could have fewer regrets in those areas of our lives, but then we would encounter other life setbacks, trials and decisions.

I have a whole list of hard regrets in my life from my teens and other big decisions I've made. Had I chosen the other road may have worked out but I wouldn't have the life I have today, for example, tough times in my marriage, a career I wasn't fulfilled with, where we live (why did we move to SF?!?) and ministry later in life.

Proverbs 15:22, 22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. - NIV
Proverbs 16:3, 3 Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established. - NKJV

James 1:5, 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. - ESV

Despite the setbacks, the Lord may or may not have planned it this way but He got us through all the trials. At the end of the day, I am thankful where I am, but He also knows when I question Him, "what if?"

What are your thoughts?

God bless everyone.

Bob

You know what? I have struggled so much with regret and comparison that I have had to combat it through prayer, Scripture, and worship. I had a harsh critical inner voice from the enemy accusing me of being a terrible mom, wife, and Christian with no redeeming qualities who should simply give up the exhausting Christian walk. But I told the voice even if I lost joy in serving God, I'd still serve Him cause He's God.

The other week, the voice lifted and I could tell God allowed the enemy to test my resolve to help me learn to war in the spirit.

 

[Yesua888]

Good morning, TitusTwoWife and Yesua888;

My sister in law is currently a full time housewife and mother. She is up early to tend to her 9 year old daughter before school and her husband before he goes to work in the evening. She tends to other tasks during the day and helps her daughter with homework after school. In the evening she enjoys watching basketball with her husband (my brother in law.)

She is one of the most humble people I have had the pleasure of knowing. I encourage her to read The Daily Bread and this week asked her to read and meditate on Titus 2.

My sister in law and I had discussion about second guessing areas of regret in a Christian's life.

Linda brought up a good point, "So many of us born again Christians (much later in life born again) have so many regrets about how we were in the world, and how we brought up our children (our Gifts from God). Had we seen things through the lens of God, we would have fewer regrets."

Linda, let's say if we saw through the lens of God, we could have fewer regrets in those areas of our lives, but then we would encounter other life setbacks, trials and decisions.

I have a whole list of hard regrets in my life from my teens and other big decisions I've made. Had I chosen the other road may have worked out but I wouldn't have the life I have today, for example, tough times in my marriage, a career I wasn't fulfilled with, where we live (why did we move to SF?!?) and ministry later in life.

Proverbs 15:22, 22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. - NIV
Proverbs 16:3, 3 Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established. - NKJV

James 1:5, 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. - ESV

Despite the setbacks, the Lord may or may not have planned it this way but He got us through all the trials. At the end of the day, I am thankful where I am, but He also knows when I question Him, "what if?"

What are your thoughts?

God bless everyone.

Bob

I mirror what TTW replied to you ...
Early this morning, whilst I tossed and turned, Holy Spirit spoke to me "loud and clear"
I realised that he has been talking to me always. He says I am "covered" and never need to worry again, because wordly things and the enemy cannot harm me.
I realised that whatever is happening around me here on Earth, is inconsequential compared what awaits men (us) in Heaven.

 

[bobinfaith]

You know what? I have struggled so much with regret and comparison that I have had to combat it through prayer, Scripture, and worship. I had a harsh critical inner voice from the enemy accusing me of being a terrible mom, wife, and Christian with no redeeming qualities who should simply give up the exhausting Christian walk. But I told the voice even if I lost joy in serving God, I'd still serve Him cause He's God.

The other week, the voice lifted and I could tell God allowed the enemy to test my resolve to help me learn to war in the spirit.

I mirror what TTW replied to you ...
Early this morning, whilst I tossed and turned, Holy Spirit spoke to me "loud and clear"
I realised that he has been talking to me always. He says I am "covered" and never need to worry again, because wordly things and the enemy cannot harm me.
I realised that whatever is happening around me here on Earth, is inconsequential compared what awaits me in Heaven.

Those are good disciplines, wisdom and discernment of the Holy Spirit. It gives me food for thought and reminds me of 1 Corinthian 2.

1 Corinthians 2:10-14, 10 these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. 11 For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.

12 Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. 13 And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual. 14 The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. - ESV

 

[TitusTwoWife]

My Husband: I choose to work this hard so your life can be easier.

Me: That means I need to obsess over housework and frugality to make up for not having an income, right?

Him: I literally just like when you relax.

Me: This is hard for me to understand.

Husband: Do you want our kids to stress about bills?

Me: No.

Husband: That's how I feel about you.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

@bobinfaith
How are you and your wife doing?

 

[bobinfaith]

@bobinfaith
How are you and your wife doing?

Hello TitusTwoWife;

God bless you and thank you for asking. We're doing well.

Hazel wished me 41st Happy Anniversary this morning. We're taking care of some chores around the house and then I'm taking her to a nice restaurant to celebrate.

Bob

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Hello TitusTwoWife;

God bless you and thank you for asking. We're doing well.

Hazel wished me 41st Happy Anniversary this morning. We're taking care of some chores around the house and then I'm taking her to a nice restaurant to celebrate.

Bob

Congratulations!!

 

[Yesua888]

​

 

[bobinfaith]

Good morning,

Hazel and I celebrated our anniversary at a restaurant in Pacifica, CA called Moonraker. It was a quiet dinner overlooking the ocean. The atmosphere and overall service was great!

 

[David]

Good morning,

Hazel and I celebrated our anniversary at a restaurant in Pacifica, CA called Moonraker. It was a quiet dinner overlooking the ocean. The atmosphere and overall service was great!

Wow Bob, what a lovely night! 41 years married is quite an accomplishment. That is no mere dinner by the sea...but a celebration of God's faithfulness through it all. Through seasons, storms, happiness, and miles.

I'm glad you and Hazel were able to enjoy a romantic evening with some peace, a great view, and good service. Thanks for taking time to share the pictures. It's always encouraging when we get to see The Lords goodness in situations like this.

May He continue to bless you both with His love, strength, joy, and many more years together.

 

[bobinfaith]

Thank you, David, TitusTwoWife and Yesua888;

All of your posts were encouraging and a blessing to us.

God bless you and your families.

Bob and Hazel

 

[Yesua888]

Good morning,

Hazel and I celebrated our anniversary at a restaurant in Pacifica, CA called Moonraker. It was a quiet dinner overlooking the ocean. The atmosphere and overall service was great!

Ah! You are both so Beautiful, thank you for sharing your piccies

 

[TitusTwoWife]

 

[bobinfaith]

View attachment 454

Dear TitusTwoWife;

It seems you're a Mary, sitting at the feet of Jesus and listening to his teachings, instead of a Martha who is frazzled, frantically preparing and getting distracted.

God bless you.

Bob

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Dear TitusTwoWife;

It seems you're a Mary, sitting at the feet of Jesus and listening to his teachings, instead of a Martha who is frazzled, frantically preparing and getting distracted.

God bless you.

Bob

Thank's Bob, I've definitely fallen into both categories. By God's grace, Im learning to slow down and savor life.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Sometimes the issue is how we approach homemaking. We should be less like contracted employees on call at all times and more like lilies of the field. If the main goal of homemaking is a peaceful and fun atmosphere we should also prioritize doing things that bring us peace and whimsy so we can provide that and not be stressed about our duties all the time.

 

[David]

Sometimes the issue is how we approach homemaking. We should be less like contracted employees on call at all times and more like lilies of the field. If the main goal of homemaking is a peaceful and fun atmosphere we should also prioritize doing things that bring us peace and whimsy so we can provide that and not be stressed about our duties all the time.

Have you ever thought about writing for Medium.com? I think people would love to read your articles.

.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Have you ever thought about writing for Medium.com? I think people would love to read your articles.

.

Thank you. I have written for a similar website called Substack. That went well for a while. But I thought it took up too much time for the season Im in so I stopped.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

In my journey to become a good wife, I turned into a better version of myself.

In serving meals and folding clothes, I became a Godly servant.

In speaking well of my husband and defending his reputation---the honor extended back to me.

In not competing with him, we rose together.

In submitting to him, I excelled in the fear of God.

In appreciating his advice, I gained confidence that I was enough.

In recieving his love, I transformed into an unfading beauty.

 

[bobinfaith]

Good morning, TitusTwoWife;

What you

In my journey to become a good wife, I turned into a better version of myself.

In serving meals and folding clothes, I became a Godly servant.

In speaking well of my husband and defending his reputation---the honor extended back to me.

In not competing with him, we rose together.

In submitting to him, I excelled in the fear of God.

In appreciating his advice, I gained confidence that I was enough.

In recieving his love, I transformed into an unfading beauty.

Good morning, TitusTwoWife;

Your post is an inspiring example of “striving each day.” We can make a proclamation of what we will do in our obedience to God and our closest loved ones, but it’s that zeal to keep seeking God’s guidance in what we strive to do.

This includes the setbacks, uncontrollable problems that arise, in between. The Almighty knows ahead but never ceases to work on our behalf.

1 Timothy 4:10, For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe. - ESV

God bless you, TitusTwoWife.

Bob

 

[TitusTwoWife]

I feel like there are two errors married couples can fall into with emotional needs. One is to not address them at all and have pretend peace. What's more common in western culture is to make emotions king and forgo peace entirely. The term "happy wife, happy life" comes to mind.

We don't usually take this saying to mean a wife should do her best to be consistently happy despite life's variable circumstances. We usually mean a husband should accomodate whatever makes his wife happy. Unfortunately there are many cases where this never ends in happiness for either spouse because the wife and husband are misunderstanding what brings fulfillment in life.

Happiness is not getting every little whim and desire met and being pacified. It is living for a purpose greater than yourself and having the capacity to give to and serve others in love.

 

[bobinfaith]

I feel like there are two errors married couples can fall into with emotional needs. One is to not address them at all and have pretend peace. What's more common in western culture is to make emotions king and forgo peace entirely. The term "happy wife, happy life" comes to mind.

We don't usually take this saying to mean a wife should do her best to be consistently happy despite life's variable circumstances. We usually mean a husband should accomodate whatever makes his wife happy. Unfortunately there are many cases where this never ends in happiness for either spouse because the wife and husband are misunderstanding what brings fulfillment in life.

Happiness is not getting every little whim and desire met and being pacified. It is living for a purpose greater than yourself and having the capacity to give to and serve others in love.

Hello TitusTwoWife;

What you posted pertains to all who are human, married couples. All married couples, even Christian couples struggle and don't arrive at complete bliss. There are many, many areas that can hinder our happiness.

Though we are one in marriage we are all uniquely different in our personality makeup. We can never be in perfect harmony so in those moments of unhappiness, frustration, heartbreak, non communication (not expressing our feelings to each other,) can be a sprinkle of unforgiveness...and ears that do not hear (wisdom and discernment.)

Colossians 3:13, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. - ESV

James 1:19-21, 19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. - NIV

Marriage takes work, and our God, who is the author of marriage knows these challenges that get in the way of our happiness, but His good Work and Word can bring us to a spirit of peace, understanding and love with each other.

A happy wife, a happy life is a cute saying. I've heard and used it in humor but that's as far as it goes.

God bless you, TitusTwoWife.

Bob

 

[Yesua888]

Hello TitusTwoWife;

What you posted pertains to all who are human, married couples. All married couples, even Christian couples struggle and don't arrive at complete bliss. There are many, many areas that can hinder our happiness.

Though we are one in marriage we are all uniquely different in our personality makeup. We can never be in perfect harmony so in those moments of unhappiness, frustration, heartbreak, non communication (not expressing our feelings to each other,) can be a sprinkle of unforgiveness...and ears that do not hear (wisdom and discernment.)

Colossians 3:13, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. - ESV

James 1:19-21, 19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. - NIV

Marriage takes work, and our God, who is the author of marriage knows these challenges that get in the way of our happiness, but His good Work and Word can bring us to a spirit of peace, understanding and love with each other.

A happy wife, a happy life is a cute saying. I've heard and used it in humor but that's as far as it goes.

God bless you, TitusTwoWife.

Bob

Hi Bob,
This is a call back from the past, for me : )
IMO "happy wife, happy life" was (is) a "dismissal" and I find it was used to "shut down" the wife, because the spouse was (is) using it to say "happy wife, happy life" and actually means "I will let you win" (wink wink to the mates). The spouce may not be agreeing with the wife and certainly not interested in talking it out. This is where I see it as a "dismissal". This sentence was used as a " barb", and rather than make the wife feel good about herself, she felt disregarded, because no matter what, "she wins", and there is nothing to talk about. I have seen this used on me and on my friends (wives), which comes across as a sarcastic "let her think she is winning" or "let her think that she is the boss". This may be a "non-Christian" South African trait, because women were generally seen (in my generation, and generations before that) as being "barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen" or referred to as such (another "smart" comment) : )
I am sure that in Christian households today, this kind of banter, is not common : )

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Hi Bob,
This is a call back from the past, for me : )
IMO "happy wife, happy life" was (is) a "dismissal" and I find it was used to "shut down" the wife, because the spouse was (is) using it to say "happy wife, happy life" and actually means "I will let you win" (wink wink to the mates). The spouce may not be agreeing with the wife and certainly not interested in talking it out. This is where I see it as a "dismissal". This sentence was used as a " barb", and rather than make the wife feel good about herself, she felt disregarded, because no matter what, "she wins", and there is nothing to talk about. I have seen this used on me and on my friends (wives), which comes across as a sarcastic "let her think she is winning" or "let her think that she is the boss". This may be a "non-Christian" South African trait, because women were generally seen (in my generation, and generations before that) as being "barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen" or referred to as such (another "smart" comment) : )
I am sure that in Christian households today, this kind of banter, is not common : )

I agree that the phrase can be used this way as well.

 

[David]

Hi Bob,
This is a call back from the past, for me : )
IMO "happy wife, happy life" was (is) a "dismissal" and I find it was used to "shut down" the wife, because the spouse was (is) using it to say "happy wife, happy life" and actually means "I will let you win" (wink wink to the mates). The spouce may not be agreeing with the wife and certainly not interested in talking it out. This is where I see it as a "dismissal". This sentence was used as a " barb", and rather than make the wife feel good about herself, she felt disregarded, because no matter what, "she wins", and there is nothing to talk about. I have seen this used on me and on my friends (wives), which comes across as a sarcastic "let her think she is winning" or "let her think that she is the boss". This may be a "non-Christian" South African trait, because women were generally seen (in my generation, and generations before that) as being "barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen" or referred to as such (another "smart" comment) : )
I am sure that in Christian households today, this kind of banter, is not common : )

I can certainly see where you are coming from. I witnessed that same dismissive attitude toward wives many times when I was in the workforce.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

August 1st was our 11th anniversary.
My husband has been a covering for me. He works 60 hours a week so I can stay home. He comes home from work and plays with the children.
He is a Godly leader and has mentored me into being much better. He is still a better person than me. I don’t know how he can be so generous on top of the other things he does. He has my genuine admiration.

We were 18 when we met. He couldn't grow his beard yet. His intensity was unnerving. But he's the best man I know.

 

[bobinfaith]

August 1st was our 11th anniversary.
My husband has been a covering for me. He works 60 hours a week so I can stay home. He comes home from work and plays with the children.
He is a Godly leader and has mentored me into being much better. He is still a better person than me. I don’t know how he can be so generous on top of the other things he does. He has my genuine admiration.

We were 18 when we met. He couldn't grow his beard yet. His intensity was unnerving. But he's the best man I know.

Good morning, TitusTwoWife;

Congratulations on your 11th Wedding Anniversary! All the glory to God!

God bless you, sister.

Bob

 

[David]

August 1st was our 11th anniversary.

Happy anniversary!

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Cleaning and running a home can become drudgery without taking time for whimsy. Eating off a special vintage plate, lighting a candle, putting pretty flowers in a vase are not essential but that's the point. They remind us that we can do more than just survive in the world. Whimsy, beauty, thoughtfulness, and creating little traditions are all things that add vitality to life and make it special.

 

[Yesua888]

Cleaning and running a home can become drudgery without taking time for whimsy. Eating off a special vintage plate, lighting a candle, putting pretty flowers in a vase are not essential but that's the point. They remind us that we can do more than just survive in the world. Whimsy, beauty, thoughtfulness, and creating little traditions are all things that add vitality to life and make it special.

I agree with you Titus TwoWife : )
"Whimsy" is something that comes naturally in my life too, and always has, whether studying, working or in retirement ... I see God in "the magical" things of life ... I see His Beautify in the Whimsy!

 

[bobinfaith]

Cleaning and running a home can become drudgery without taking time for whimsy. Eating off a special vintage plate, lighting a candle, putting pretty flowers in a vase are not essential but that's the point. They remind us that we can do more than just survive in the world. Whimsy, beauty, thoughtfulness, and creating little traditions are all things that add vitality to life and make it special.

I agree with you Titus TwoWife : )
"Whimsy" is something that comes naturally in my life too, and always has, whether studying, working or in retirement ... I see God in "the magical" things of life ... I see His Beautify in the Whimsy!

Good morning, TitusTwoWife and Yesua888;

Pray tell. What is whimsy? I could look on AI but would rather hear from my Christian sisters.

God bless you both and thank you.

Bob

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Good morning, TitusTwoWife and Yesua888;

Pray tell. What is whimsy? I could look on AI but would rather hear from my Christian sisters.

God bless you both and thank you.

Bob

Whimsy is doing things in a way that is extra fun or carefree beyond just surviving or just being purely useful.

For example, I could just use a regular nail to hold my wedding ring when I wash dishes. But they offer stylized ones that I look forward to picking out soon. Like ones shaped like animals.

 

[Yesua888]

I feel like there are two errors married couples can fall into with emotional needs. One is to not address them at all and have pretend peace. What's more common in western culture is to make emotions king and forgo peace entirely. The term "happy wife, happy life" comes to mind.

We don't usually take this saying to mean a wife should do her best to be consistently happy despite life's variable circumstances. We usually mean a husband should accomodate whatever makes his wife happy. Unfortunately there are many cases where this never ends in happiness for either spouse because the wife and husband are misunderstanding what brings fulfillment in life.

Happiness is not getting every little whim and desire met and being pacified. It is living for a purpose greater than yourself and having the capacity to give to and serve others in love.

This comes to mind for me:
In the past I always wanted to resolve issues then and there ...
I realise that in those times, I wanted to win!
The point had to be pressed or argument "had to continue" until things were "resolved". If they were'nt I was very troubled, and the "other" person was in the wrong.
Something even Christians need to be aware of, is that one of us (for whatever reason; deep or not) may not be focused on truly getting to the point where we are actually looking for a solution according to God's will for us; instead focussing on "winning" and may not even be aware of this.
"... psychological research and clinical observations strongly support the connection between controlling adult behaviour and a history of being controlled or abused as a child."
Just something to reflect upon, whether the "cap fits" or whether this kind of "manipulation" and "control" goes on in our close circle, it is important to consider this side too : )

 

[Yesua888]

Good morning, TitusTwoWife and Yesua888;

Pray tell. What is whimsy? I could look on AI but would rather hear from my Christian sisters.

God bless you both and thank you.

Bob

Hi Bob,

I took "whimsy" as meaning fantastical, playful and fun ...

Then I too wanted to see what the definition of "whimsical" says:

• Full of whims; freakish; having odd fancies or peculiar notions; capricious.
• Odd; fantastic.
• Synonyms Singular, Odd, etc. (see eccentric), notional, crotchety.
• Fanciful, grotesque.

So I take out of it "fantastic" : )

 

[TitusTwoWife]

I left my job and started homemaking full time in 2019. I was not very good. I was discouraged, thinking I should have my grandma's standard of clean overnight. But I kept studying, kept learning, and kept taking advice. The result is a peaceful home, though it took practice.

 

[bobinfaith]

Good morning, TitusTwoWife;

I hope what I want to share is within the topic of Home as Ministry.

I was listening to a discussion about the cost of weddings in these times. From the preparation and getting the parent's input, the cost, how many and who to invite, etc...

I didn't agree with the opinions of the discussion for it seemed to lean more to the secular. "It only happens once to the bride so forget the costs" or "how can we balance the invites from both sides of the bride and groom" to "what food or music will everyone enjoy?"

YIKES!

It seems more emphasis is on the objectives above instead of the most important question that gets overlooked. After all the celebration the couple ends up in divorce years later.

I believe the question is, as our children grow, at some point are they being taught to honor God's Creation of marriage for life?

Thoughts?

God bless everyone.

Bob

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Good morning, TitusTwoWife;

I hope what I want to share stays within the topic of Home as Ministry.

I was listening to a discussion about the cost of weddings in these times. From the preparation and getting the parent's input, the cost, how many and who to invite, etc...

I didn't agree with the opinions of the discussion for it seemed to lean more to the secular. "It only happens once to the bride so forget the costs" or "how can we balance the invites from both sides of the bride and groom" to "what food or music will everyone enjoy?"

YIKES!

It seems more emphasis is on the objectives above instead of the most important question that gets overlooked. After all the celebration the couple ends up in divorce years later.

I believe the question is, as our children grow, at some point are they being taught to honor God's Creation of marriage for life?

Thoughts?

God bless everyone.

Bob

Hey Bob, I happen to think it's very unwise to spend too much on the wedding. It's one day and then you have to face the financial fallout of your decisions!

I had a traditional wedding but if I could go back, Id save the expense and either put that money towards a great honeymoon or rent costs.

Ill be upfront, my husband paid most of the 3,000 dollar expense that the total wedding costs by barely eating and saving his paychecks from retail. But I did not need the expense and it would have been more meaningful to simply go to the justice of the peace, get married, and simply start our lives together.

Women aren't taught the skills of frugality and resourcefulness in general. These are important skills.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

I believe the question is, as our children grow, at some point are they being taught to honor God's Creation of marriage for life?

This is a great question. A wise woman was speaking to wives and said "be careful not to view marriage as the finish line for making efforts to please your man". Im sure this goes for both sexes. But I feel like a lot of women put a lot of effort into pleasing their man in the beginning but place him on the back burner when children arrive. Children are not enough to hold a marriage together. Your marriage is your first ministry. Even children do not take priority over that devotion.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Study Correlates Risk Of Divorce To Spending A Lot Of Money On Your Wedding

The Bel Air family attorneys at Schlaich & Thompson, Chartered represent the interests of divorcing couples no matter how much you spent on your wedding. Call our office today to schedule an appointment.

www.stclaw.net

Above is a study that found high expense weddings tended to be correlated to higher divorce.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

If you obey God as a wife, you will offend other women. Christian women too.

-Speaking well of your husband
-Submitting
-Frequent intimacy
-Serving him food, making his plate
-Not splitting chores
-Being a Titus 2 Keeper at Home
-Being respectful
-Not insisting on your way

These are all things that raise eyebrows and will get you talked negatively about behind your back and to your face.

I don't really mind. I love having a peaceful and affectionate marriage. I love being home and taking care of my husband. Ive found purpose, joy, and happiness in learning to serve others and put my husband's needs first. Others don't have to understand.

 

[Yesua888]

Hey Bob, I happen to think it's very unwise to spend too much on the wedding. It's one day and then you have to face the financial fallout of your decisions!

I had a traditional wedding but if I could go back, Id save the expense and either put that money towards a great honeymoon or rent costs.

Ill be upfront, my husband paid most of the 3,000 dollar expense that the total wedding costs by barely eating and saving his paychecks from retail. But I did not need the expense and it would have been more meaningful to simply go to the justice of the peace, get married, and simply start our lives together.

Women aren't taught the skills of frugality and resourcefulness in general. These are important skills.

I like "whimsical" or "fairytale" ... I can see the bride with flowers in her hair, standing with her new husband, in a field of wild flowers. The guests are gathered around, and are adorned much the same ... nothing fancy, just beautiful nature ... everyone brings a plate and something to drink, to share : )

 

[bobinfaith]

Study Correlates Risk Of Divorce To Spending A Lot Of Money On Your Wedding

The Bel Air family attorneys at Schlaich & Thompson, Chartered represent the interests of divorcing couples no matter how much you spent on your wedding. Call our office today to schedule an appointment.

www.stclaw.net

Above is a study that found high expense weddings tended to be correlated to higher divorce.

If you obey God as a wife, you will offend other women. Christian women too. -Speaking well of your husband -Submitting -Frequent intimacy -Serving him food, making his plate -Not splitting chores -Being a Titus 2 Keeper at Home -Being respectful -Not insisting on your way

These are all things that raise eyebrows and will get you talked negatively about behind your back and to your face. I don't really mind. I love having a peaceful and affectionate marriage. I love being home and taking care of my husband. Ive found purpose, joy, and happiness in learning to serve others and put my husband's needs first. Others don't have to understand.

Good Morning, TitusTwoWife;

What I red-lighted is a plug for Schlaich & Thompson, Chartered, but your point is well taken.

You and your husband are indeed blessed. You face the challenge of being a full time, stay at home wife. By applying your faith God sees your honor to Him, therefore, He is prospering your marriage and family.

When we got married I was 28 and Hazel was 27. It was on a Saturday at a small Christian wedding that cost me $36.00, Wedding Bell Chapel in San Diego. We had no honey moon and I had to go back to work on Monday. On another weekend we had our wedding reception at my aunt and uncle's house with immediate family, friends, a cake and some gifts. It was very low budget. Later during the summer we had our honeymoon at Disneyland.

The weekend after our wedding, on my first day home from work Hazel cooked a great meal. She was a stay home wife and I worked a lot of overtime. Since I got home before 3pm I would change and then we'd get out of the house, go to the beach, the park, etc...

The first 5 years of living together and getting to know each other, we learned each other's quirks, flaws and imperfections. The ups and downs in our relationship grew and there was a time when we did think about divorce.

We prayed and went to Church but our relationship with Christ was "secondary." We didn't understand God's unconditional love, patience, forgiveness, reconciliation. It's hard to explain but without the mentioned fruits I have to believe it was our "tiny faith" that God saw our hearts and got us through the worst and best in our marriage.

We had so many failures in other areas of life but when we reflect on the exchange of our wedding vows and honoring God's CREATION of marriage, it was the Lord who has guided us through it all.

I remember back in the early years this simple verse in the book of Philippians 4:12-13, 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound; in any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and want. 13 I can do all things in him who strengthens me. - RSV

We helped raise 6 nephews and nieces, none of them are married, yet, but when that time comes we are ready to offer whatever is asked of us in wisdom, discernment and practical sense.

God bless you, TitusTwoWife.

Bob

 

[TitusTwoWife]

For a while, I lost sight of who I was. I wanted to by a hyper competent Type A superwoman. And while that's admirable, that isn't me. Im more laid back, creative, and whimsical. And that's fine. My husband never asked me to be Type A. He prefers my natural self. And now, I will too.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Inward beauty: filling the mind with Scripture, self-control, a meek and quiet spirit that trusts God, submissive towards husband and willing to yield, speaking words that bring life, discretion, home-centered, servant-hearted.

Outer beauty: drinking plenty of water, sunlight, high protein, animal fat, simple hair regimen, dressing up nice for husband at home, lots of intimacy, deep breathing, low stress, walking, strength training

 

[bobinfaith]

Inward beauty: filling the mind with Scripture, self-control, a meek and quiet spirit that trusts God, submissive towards husband and willing to yield, speaking words that bring life, discretion, home-centered, servant-hearted.

Outer beauty: drinking plenty of water, sunlight, high protein, animal fat, simple hair regimen, dressing up nice for husband at home, lots of intimacy, deep breathing, low stress, walking, strength training

Hello TitusTwoWife;

I wanted to praise God for your OP. There are many other wives/mothers and husbands/fathers who are Home as Ministry and reading this may encourage them.

This is not an easy task juggling with managing the home, raising the children is already enough as full time, as well as other responsibilities.

When my wife and I were newly weds she was a stay home wife. It was a time when overtime was plentiful at work and I took advantage of that living on one income. When I got home it was nice that she managed things at home and am grateful for that home cooked meal.

One thing that was important for us. I'd take care of other things around the house, take us out for awhile and go to the park, the beach or shopping for things we needed.

A reminder that all this sounds nice but it wasn't always perfect. We disagreed, argued, heartbreaking things happened that we could not control. We just tried to be consistent in the foundation of a Christian home.

Proverbs 14:1,11, The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. 11, The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish. - NIV

God bless you, TitusTwoWife.

Bob

 

[TitusTwoWife]

My husband is very strong. He's like the basketball player storming the court for a layup. I'm more like the assist that gives a tap to make it in the basket. No matter what I do to give to him, it never outdoes what he does for me.



But even he should not have to do everything alone. Like Eve, Im a helpmate and companion. When he got home from his night shift this morning, daughter was coughing horribly. So he called his parents so I could drop off our son and take daughter to the pediatrician. Then he slept. I handled the rest.



He's the star player. He keeps bills paid, washes me with the Word, ministers to others, helps me become all I should be. But I'm important too. Im the difference maker that helps him surpass other men.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Something clicked today.

My husband told me he feels somewhat like a failure when I stress about motherhood and chores. He feels successful when I go off on a tangent about some show or book and get giddy about it like a child.

So I'm trying to figure it out and I hear his advice in my head, "You are the spiritual thermostat of the home." It's starting to make sense. There are more dimensions to homemaking than how many tasks get done. The whole point is not just that, it's my presence. It's peace and play. If I look at the big picture, I can see how important whimsy and fun is and how little the tasks I stress about factor in.

 

[Yesua888]

Something clicked today.

My husband told me he feels somewhat like a failure when I stress about motherhood and chores. He feels successful when I go off on a tangent about some show or book and get giddy about it like a child.

So I'm trying to figure it out and I hear his advice in my head, "You are the spiritual thermostat of the home." It's starting to make sense. There are more dimensions to homemaking than how many tasks get done. The whole point is not just that, it's my presence. It's peace and play. If I look at the big picture, I can see how important whimsy and fun is and how little the tasks I stress about factor in.

The Balance is important, and your children will take into their lives what they loved when growing up in yours ...

 

[bobinfaith]

Something clicked today.

My husband told me he feels somewhat like a failure when I stress about motherhood and chores. He feels successful when I go off on a tangent about some show or book and get giddy about it like a child.

So I'm trying to figure it out and I hear his advice in my head, "You are the spiritual thermostat of the home." It's starting to make sense. There are more dimensions to homemaking than how many tasks get done. The whole point is not just that, it's my presence. It's peace and play. If I look at the big picture, I can see how important whimsy and fun is and how little the tasks I stress about factor in.

Good morning, TitusTwoWife;

At times in a Christian marriage spouses will feel somewhat like a failure about the work, parenthood and tasks. We don't know why these emotions suddenly pop in our head so we are encouraged to pick each other up, daily.

The burden of sudden negative or discouraging thoughts will pop up out of nowhere. When we are walking daily with Christ spouses come across all kinds of situations inside and outside the home. The load can become a bit heavy. We are to bear one another's burdens (challenges, setbacks, insecurities, etc...) to help carry the load. Hold each other up.

It's important for spouses to make time alone with each other. It can be after the kids go to bed. Aside from the low esteems, reassure the love, appreciation, standing by (no matter what) and "we're in this together," for our marriage. Say it over and over again, like a mantra. Build each other up.

All this may sound like preaching to the choir, but seriously, when it comes to our marriages, communicating these points are serious but it takes discipline if spouses are not used to having that alone time to talk. Spouses can always start at day one and have faith that God will be there.

We are ministering to our wife and husband, and building up honor to God's created marriage.

Galatians 5:22-26, 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. - NIV

God bless you, TitusTwoWife and everyone.

Bob