Growing as a wife, growing in Christ

[TitusTwoWife]

A woman I respect said "Great wives and husbands aren't born. They have to learn the skillset."

The Bible is a wonderful resource as well as Godly older wives. Anyone can learn to be a lovely Christian wife or a Godly husband if they're seeking wisdom.

I came to marriage a self-centered thing. I played the victim when challenges came, I wasn't as fully invested as my husband was, I wanted to submit but found that I couldn't. I would act the way I wanted and say I would repent later which led to all kinds of sin that I am now ashamed of.

But I turned to the Lord and learned how much He expects obedience from His children. My husband and I started reading Scripture for ourselves and throwing out false teaching.

I learned that I was the helpmeet to my husband and that I was to help him as one flesh with his calling (Genesis 2:18). It wasn't that he had to help me in my vision. I was to submit to his.

I stopped working the job I hated and became a housewife. This was several years before we had kids. Everyone thought we were crazy. Back then, there wasn't as big of a push for traditional values that people are starting to see now. This was 2018.

But honestly, I loved it. We stopped arguing about chores and money because he handled the money and I handled chores and that was that. I began to learn to clean better, to bake bread, to just enjoy making the house a home for my husband.

My husband never looked back. He began to grow in confidence, leadership ability, and wisdom. He began saying statements directly rather than "I think" or "I guess maybe." He increased his income, his fitness and health, and his knowledge of the things of God.

Today I am a homemaker with kids. I trust my husband with my life. I trust him to make decisions. I trust him to guard our souls. I learned to submit and just kept submitting till he became the most competent reliable and bold men I know.

People have this assumption that power always corrupts and that men should not have it. The Lord is powerful and He is just. Submission did not take away my voice. Rather, it increased my influence because I became a wife my husband could trust.

By listening to God's Word, we both gained a mutual purpose and we act as a one flesh team, rather than two independent partners. Together, we are building a house on the only foundation that will last. We must serve Christ over Mammon.

 

[bobinfaith]

Good morning, TitusTwoWife;

Thank you for your testimony and for sharing Growing as a wife, growing in Christ I am blessed by your honesty and in many ways my wife and I can relate to you, your husband and most marriages in this one area;

"Great wives and husbands aren't born. They have to learn the skillset."

When Hazel and I got married we were joined together as former "happy and single" people. We enjoyed the single life, believed in Christ but we were both independent and managed our decisions alone.

Once we tied the knot, it quickly became awkward. We felt confident as boyfriend girlfriend but we didn't know how to be a born wife and husband with marital skill sets.
On a humorous note;

My wife Hazel was from overseas. When I proposed to her I saw "housekeeper" in her eyes and she saw dollar signs in my eyes. Later I found out she doesn't clean house and she learned I didn't have any money. lol!

I told my wife it was Biblical for the wife to obey and be a good housekeeper. She reminded me it was also in the Bible where the husband was the sole breadwinner, continuously building up the paycheck.

We didn't understand God's Word and was trying to interpret it our way.
Years later at a Church workshop my wife attended a class filled with Pastor's wives and sister mentors. Hazel opened up about defining the role of a wife and they encouraged her, "Hazel, just be yourself."

That's all it took for both of us to live the growing pains, hard knocks experience of marriage, be open to correction and reconciliation, learning to believe God is the creator of marriage and will guide us through every circumstance we face. The latter is what gave us peace, calm and moments of joy.

God bless you, TitusTwoWife.

Bob