FITH COMMANDMENT ... Is it all cut and dried or is there more to consider?

[Yesua888]

A week or so ago, I watched a Utube video and posed a question to the author ...

The author responded to me on the Tube, by sending me a link to a blog that he decided to compose.

The blog is in answer to my question posed about abusive parents

This is the link, below:

How to Honor a Parent Who Isn’t Honorable

The Fifth Commandment says to honor our father and mother. But how can we obey that command when our parents are abusive or otherwise dishonorable?

lifehopeandtruth.com

As Paul explains, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). God has given parents authority over their children; however, to mistreat one’s children is to abuse the authority God has given. Parents are given to children for their instruction and protection, particularly to train them in the commands of God (Deut. 6:7). Any behavior that contradicts this God-given role is an abuse of authority and a corruption of what God intended to be for the good of children and society in general. It is wise to listen to parents’ good counsel for our own well-being (Prov. 1:8).

 

[David]

A week or so ago, I watched a Utube video and posed a question to the author ...

The author responded to me on the Tube, by sending me a link to a blog that he decided to compose.

The blog is in answer to my question posed about abusive parents

This is the link, below:

How to Honor a Parent Who Isn’t Honorable

The Fifth Commandment says to honor our father and mother. But how can we obey that command when our parents are abusive or otherwise dishonorable?

lifehopeandtruth.com

As Paul explains, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). God has given parents authority over their children; however, to mistreat one’s children is to abuse the authority God has given. Parents are given to children for their instruction and protection, particularly to train them in the commands of God (Deut. 6:7). Any behavior that contradicts this God-given role is an abuse of authority and a corruption of what God intended to be for the good of children and society in general. It is wise to listen to parents’ good counsel for our own well-being (Prov. 1:8).
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I read the article, and here’s the plain biblical principle on this matter.

God said, “Honor your father and your mother” ~Exodus 20:12. Honor does not equal permission to be mistreated. Honor means maintaining the right attitude even when they are in the wrong. You do not retaliate evil for evil. You do not allow bitterness to take root. You remain in step with the truth of God ~Romans 12:17.

Paul said, “Obey your parents in the Lord” ~Ephesians 6:1. The key phrase in the Lord is critical. God never asks you to obey sin or remain under a pattern of abuse. If it’s not in the Lord, you are not under any obligation to obey it.

Forgiveness is mandatory, but reconciliation is not. Jesus says we will be forgiven by God as we forgive others ~Matthew 6:14–15. Forgiveness sets your heart free, but that doesn’t necessarily mean returning to a place of a harmful relationship.

Peace is always a goal, but it is not always possible. Scripture already addresses that. “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” ~Romans 12:18. If it is not possible, it is not possible, and God knows that.

But even if your parents failed you, God did not. “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up” ~Psalm 27:10.

So, you honor the command by maintaining your character in line with the Word of God, not by taking abuse. God never asks His children to remain under what He has called evil.

 

[bobinfaith]

Good morning, Yesua888 and David;

I wish I read your posts when I was a teen and young adult. I wasn't the role model son to my Dad and Mom. I said cruel things to my Dad, "when I turn 18 I can leave and won't have to put up with you anymore." My Dad responded calmly, "I'll remember that, son." YIKES!

I was worse with my Mom because I could manipulate her to get my way.

My Mom was forgiving but didn't forget. As I grew into adulthood, many friends came and went but my Mom was always there when I needed her during extreme times (of life). She went on to be with the Lord in February 2003.

My Dad was firm, but calm and cool like a cucumber. He taught me to step up as a young man in life, to be prepared for setbacks as well as handling accomplishments or success. He's 89 years old and is still there whenever I need him, to talk to, listen to him and just spend time over coffee.

I'm relieved God has forgiven me for those troubling years I brought upon them and myself. I feel it's helped me be the best son I can at this stage of my life.

God bless you both and thank you for sharing.

bobinfaith

 

[David]

I wish I read your posts when I was a teen and young adult. I wasn't the role model son to my Dad and Mom. I said cruel things to my Dad, "when I turn 18 I can leave and won't have to put up with you anymore." My Dad responded calmly, "I'll remember that, son." YIKES!

I was worse with my Mom because I could manipulate her to get my way.

My Mom was forgiving but didn't forget. As I grew into adulthood, many friends came and went but my Mom was always there when I needed her during extreme times (of life). She went on to be with the Lord in February 2003.

My Dad was firm, but calm and cool like a cucumber. He taught me to step up as a young man in life, to be prepared for setbacks as well as handling accomplishments or success. He's 89 years old and is still there whenever I need him, to talk to, listen to him and just spend time over coffee.

I'm relieved God has forgiven me for those troubling years I brought upon them and myself. I feel it's helped me be the best son I can at this stage of my life.

Thanks for sharing. My teenage years were no different. I pushed back, I said some things I regret, I thought I knew more than I did. I had a rebellious heart and when I look back I wish I would’ve honored my parents more. God gave me faithful parents that loved me through those difficult years. In His perfect timing the Lord softened my heart just as He promises to discipline and restore His children because He loves us ~Hebrews 12:5–6.

Both of my parents have now gone to be with the Lord and I had a sister who has also gone to be with Him. A loss like that changes your perspective of life in so many ways. The regret is real but so is God’s grace and there is deep comfort in knowing that in Christ we will see them again ~1 Thessalonians 4:13–14.

I am thankful you were able to grow closer to your dad and mom as the years progressed. That is a blessing from the Lord. It’s truly amazing how He takes the rough seasons of our past and uses them to shape us to be people who love better and appreciate the gifts He has given us.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It blessed me this morning.

 

[Yesua888]

Good morning, Yesua888 and David;

I wish I read your posts when I was a teen and young adult. I wasn't the role model son to my Dad and Mom. I said cruel things to my Dad, "when I turn 18 I can leave and won't have to put up with you anymore." My Dad responded calmly, "I'll remember that, son." YIKES!

I was worse with my Mom because I could manipulate her to get my way.

My Mom was forgiving but didn't forget. As I grew into adulthood, many friends came and went but my Mom was always there when I needed her during extreme times (of life). She went on to be with the Lord in February 2003.

My Dad was firm, but calm and cool like a cucumber. He taught me to step up as a young man in life, to be prepared for setbacks as well as handling accomplishments or success. He's 89 years old and is still there whenever I need him, to talk to, listen to him and just spend time over coffee.

I'm relieved God has forgiven me for those troubling years I brought upon them and myself. I feel it's helped me be the best son I can at this stage of my life.

God bless you both and thank you for sharing.

bobinfaith

Hi Bob and David,
Thank you both for your sharing ... it is always so good to hear your stories, because it actually brings us closer, so to speak (we get to understand more about each other).
As a youngster, I was fortunate to have been taken by a neighbour to Sunday School. I went to a holiday camp too, and a few Friday night youth groups. This was my saving grace from an awful childhood. God saw to it that I was able to see two sides of the coin, so to speak.
My Sis and I would lie on our beds and reflect on a Billy Graham movie that we had watched on a Friday night. We would say things like: "wish BG was our dad"
I adored my mum, but never understood why she would keep going back to him when he abused us, and beat her up so badly. She was Beautiful, and was loved by so many ... my dad hated this, and took it out on her and on us.
Now that I have officially given myself to Christ, I regret having hurt my biological father. I said mean things about him, especially later in my twenties, to an uncle who repeated what I had said. My father was mortally wounded. I have discussed this with my REAL Dad : )
I always think of the saying "sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me" ... we used to say this a lot as kids.
I think of how all these "awful" exeperiences actually mould us into something better, praise be to The Lord. Nobody can harm us spiritually or own our spirits, they belong to The Lord, forever!
Some do not grow wiser, and may cross over to the other side of the road; this is tragic.
There is so much that I see now, when I look back, to be thankful for.
I pray that every child of God's will have the opportunity to see both sides of the coin.

 

[David]

Hi Bob and David,
Thank you both for your sharing ... it is always so good to hear your stories, because it actually brings us closer, so to speak (we get to understand more about each other).
As a youngster, I was fortunate to have been taken by a neighbour to Sunday School. I went to a holiday camp too, and a few Friday night youth groups. This was my saving grace from an awful childhood. God saw to it that I was able to see two sides of the coin, so to speak.
My Sis and I would lie on our beds and reflect on a Billy Graham movie that we had watched on a Friday night. We would say things like: "wish BG was our dad"
I adored my mum, but never understood why she would keep going back to him when he abused us, and beat her up so badly. She was Beautiful, and was loved by so many ... my dad hated this, and took it out on her and on us.
Now that I have officially given myself to Christ, I regret having hurt my biological father. I said mean things about him, especially later in my twenties, to an uncle who repeated what I had said. My father was mortally wounded. I have discussed this with my REAL Dad : )
I always think of the saying "sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me" ... we used to say this a lot as kids.
I think of how all these "awful" exeperiences actually mould us into something better, praise be to The Lord. Nobody can harm us spiritually or own our spirits, they belong to The Lord, forever!
Some do not grow wiser, and may cross over to the other side of the road; this is tragic.
There is so much that I see now, when I look back, to be thankful for.
I pray that every child of God's will have the opportunity to see both sides of the coin.

Scripture speaks right into what you described. “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” ~Psalm 34:18. He saw you as a child, He carried you through pain, and He used even those hard things to draw you to Himself. That is not accidental. That is God’s mercy at work.

Your forgiveness and reflection is the fruit of a changed heart. “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” ~2 Corinthians 5:17. What belongs to the past no longer defines you. Your spirit belongs to the Lord, just as you said, and no one can take that from Him ~John 10:28.

This was encouraging to read. God truly does redeem what was meant for harm and turns it for good ~Genesis 50:20.

 

[bobinfaith]

Hi Bob and David,
Thank you both for your sharing ... it is always so good to hear your stories, because it actually brings us closer, so to speak (we get to understand more about each other). As a youngster, I was fortunate to have been taken by a neighbour to Sunday School. I went to a holiday camp too, and a few Friday night youth groups. This was my saving grace from an awful childhood. God saw to it that I was able to see two sides of the coin, so to speak. My Sis and I would lie on our beds and reflect on a Billy Graham movie that we had watched on a Friday night. We would say things like: "wish BG was our dad" I adored my mum, but never understood why she would keep going back to him when he abused us, and beat her up so badly. She was Beautiful, and was loved by so many ... my dad hated this, and took it out on her and on us. Now that I have officially given myself to Christ, I regret having hurt my biological father. I said mean things about him, especially later in my twenties, to an uncle who repeated what I had said. My father was mortally wounded. I have discussed this with my REAL Dad : ) I always think of the saying "sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me" ... we used to say this a lot as kids. I think of how all these "awful" exeperiences actually mould us into something better, praise be to The Lord. Nobody can harm us spiritually or own our spirits, they belong to The Lord, forever! Some do not grow wiser, and may cross over to the other side of the road; this is tragic. There is so much that I see now, when I look back, to be thankful for. I pray that every child of God's will have the opportunity to see both sides of the coin.

Hello Linda;

When you wrote, I regret having hurt my biological father. I said mean things about him, especially later in my twenties, to an uncle who repeated what I had said. My father was mortally wounded. I have discussed this with my REAL Dad : )

Did you mean God as your REAL Dad? Sorry, I can be a bit slow so I ask questions.

I have heard the stories of husband and wife who abused or were beat up badly.

Most of us have our own extreme (horrible as kids) experiences watching our parents. As the eldest child (at 12) I would have to get up out of bed late at night and run in the living room to see why there was so much commotion. My parents would stop and tell me what each other did or said as if I was the mediator.

Dad and Mom divorced when I was 15. It left scars on me and I felt justified not forgiving both my parents. Years go by and I have learned but am reminded of my behavior toward them. I thank God for His forgiveness toward me as well as my late Mom and Dad, who's alive today.

God bless everyone.

bobinfaith

 

[Yesua888]

Hello Linda;

When you wrote, I regret having hurt my biological father. I said mean things about him, especially later in my twenties, to an uncle who repeated what I had said. My father was mortally wounded. I have discussed this with my REAL Dad : )

Did you mean God as your REAL Dad? Sorry, I can be a bit slow so I ask questions.

I have heard the stories of husband and wife who abused or were beat up badly.

Most of us have our own extreme (horrible as kids) experiences watching our parents. As the eldest child (at 12) I would have to get up out of bed late at night and run in the living room to see why there was so much commotion. My parents would stop and tell me what each other did or said as if I was the mediator.

Dad and Mom divorced when I was 15. It left scars on me and I felt justified not forgiving both my parents. Years go by and I have learned but am reminded of my behavior toward them. I thank God for His forgiveness toward me as well as my late Mom and Dad, who's alive today.

God bless everyone.

bobinfaith

Bob, My REAL Dad is God the Father
I relate to being a mediator too : ) xxx